Everyone’s free to drink coffee
If I could offer you only one piece of advice it would be to drink coffee. The long term benefits have been proven in lab rats, where as the rest of my advice is still waiting for FDA approval.
Enjoy the power and beauty of pastries. However, you will never fully understand the power and beauty of doughnuts. Trust me 20 years from now you will look back at old photographs and realize how little possibilities stuck out from your waist.
You were not as fat as you are now.
Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying after consuming large amounts of coffee leads to heart trouble and irrational thinking. Real problems are those that tend to never cross your caffeinated mind, like who keeps getting grounds in the coffee?
You should take the barista choice once. Even if the price scares you.
Tip you barista.
Don’t waste money on enamel whiteners. You’re screwed.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know how you want your coffee. Some of the most interesting 20 years I know drink it black. Some of the most interesting 40 years drink it with soy. Their choice is dictated by diabetes and lactose intolerance. Yours can be too.
Don’t drink DeCaf. It will only make you feel sleepy.
And remember don’t forget about the Espresso.